Let’s face it. Baltimore isn’t exactly known for its robust literary culture…but more for its Old Bay seasoning, blue crabs, Orioles, and this guy:
(Ray Lewis of the Baltimore Ravens)
BUT.
There was once this guy. A real Baltimorian (or Baltimoron for those of you playing at home). He was kind of eclectic. Totally mysterious. Probably a little scary.
He was also brilliant.
A poet.
A storyteller.
A gothic legend.
I’m talking about this guy:
(It’s Poe, yo.)
Edgar Allan Poe is the heart of Baltimore’s literary history. We named our football team after him — I mean, COME ON. How cool is that? And there’s also a film being made with John Cusack as Ed! WIN!
So it’s only natural the rest of the world has finally noticed the literary potential of B-more/B-town/Bawlmor/Hon-ville. To celebrate, the town is hosting a three-day event, the Baltimore Book Festival, at the end of the month. The event will be held downtown on Sept. 24-26 and will feature panels with such notable YA authors like:
Holly Black
Diana Peterfreund
Justine Larbalestier
Scott Westerfeld
Carrie Ryan
Elizabeth Scott
Ingrid Law
Amy Brecount White
Oh…and some guy named:
M.T. Anderson
ARE YOU HYPERVENTILATING YET? CAUSE I AM!
I can’t wait for this event! And you bet I’ll be taking notes and reporting back here about all the juicy gems of wisdom I’m hoping to learn (like what’s better: Unicorns or Zombies?).
(And if the kidlit superstars mentioned above aren’t sure to make you salivate, then how about knowing this guy will also be there? Yowzers!)
First order of business — I promise I’ll be posting a recap of RWA Orlando. I’ve written half of it but admit I sort of just want to post pictures of all the fabulousness. But I realize posting pics isn’t really all that informative, so you might have to wait a few more days because…
I have NEWS! And it needs my undivided attention! I won’t go into specifics except to say that if there was ever an incentive to finish the spit-polish on my MS, it’s this.
Which brings me to my Two Week Goal. I’m giving myself two weeks — 14 days/336 hours/20,160 minutes — to REVISE and QUERY. Why two weeks? Well, I’m almost there. All I need is a little push, a reasonable deadline (that I can be accountable for), to get me closer to the next step. But there’s always a bit of a risk when you’re about to send out that first batch of queries. What if *gasp* you think it’s ready but it’s really not? For me, that means my MS runs the risk of fatal Too-Soon-itis. And we all know how that goes.
So let me take you on a little journey to illustrate how querying too soon is like taking a trip to the ER:
You make the obvious decision to go to the hospital because you have a broken arm/volatile stomach/third eye/no eye/other grotesque injury.
You see a sign on the hospital door that says STOP! FALLING BRICKS ABOVE!
You shrug because it’s a HOSPITAL and you’re SICK and no bricks are falling on your head. Stupid sign.
You check in with the gum-smacking receptionist and take a seat in the germ-infested waiting area.
You realize how bad waiting is going to suck because all you want to do is get through Triage and see a dang doctor for your broken arm/volatile stomach/third eye/no eye/other grotesque injury. But you’re stuck waiting it out in an area that’s too small, too packed, and too smelly for comfort.
To pass the time until someone calls out your name, you decide to: read a magazine/suck at Sudoku/moan/cry for your Momma/play Hangman without the paper or pencil/plant your ass at the reception desk and tap your finger on the counter until someone pays attention to you. (I don’t suggest this last option because chances are good the guard standing by the sliding glass door is bored out of his mind and is itching–ITCHING–to throw a sucker to the curb.)
FINALLY your name is called (and with minimal butchering of your last name) after just ten hours of waiting!
You drag your tired and cranky and now-smelly body to Registration where you give every pertinent detail of your life and promise your first-born child/cat/dog/cupcake to a woman who eyes the small-hand on the clock like she’s getting paid to do that instead of processing your info.
You wait again.
Twenty-one hours later and a nurse with a glowing halo above her head and a parade of silky white doves following her every step, calls you back.
You say a silent prayer and hope it’s really you she’s talking to.
You gleefully tell the ER Doctor (who’s none too pleased at having drawn the short straw) all about your broken arm/volatile stomach/third eye/no eye/other grotesque injury. No detail is too small to leave out. This is your LIFE we’re talking about here.
ER Doctor jabs you in parts you didn’t think you could get jabbed.
After thirty seconds, she tells you your ailment was all in your head and if you just take this discharge sheet and follow the security guard outside, he’ll make sure you get to your car alright (and put you on the Never Allowed Back To The Hospital Again list).
You drive home, stare at the wall for a few days/weeks/months, then Eureeka! You realize maybe that ER Doctor was onto something. Maybe you just had a case of the Too-Soons and a good scour or ten in the shower was all you needed to bypass the ER waiting room in the first place.
Obviously, I’ve taken some liberties with this analogy. I mean c’mon — a third eye??? Regardless of how many orbital outlets someone does or doesn’t have, the point is that if you query too soon, your subconscious probably already knows this but you’ll most likely ignore it anyway and submit. And you know what? You might even get a request from Dream Agent’s assistant. Take that stupid subconscious! But if you queried too soon and are lucky enough to get past the slush reader, chances are pretty dang good you’ll get a big, fat “Not for me” from your Dream Agent. And when that happens, you’re pretty much SOL on querying that particular MS to Dream Agent again.
Why take the chance of ignoring sound advice when all you need is a rigorous scrub or two? Scrubbing is good, peeps. Use whatever you can — loofahs, that body wash with the exfoliating beads, good old-fashioned washcloth — just make sure you wash behind your ears and get between your toes. Your Dream Agent will thank you for it.
Yeah. My creativity for blog post titles is pretty much shot. And so this is me whining about getting ready to head to RWA’s National Conference in Orlando.
But Cam, RWA offers the most comprehensive, thoroughly thoughtful, celeb-author-studded workshops EVAH. What’s the deal with your incessant screeching?
Well, I’m glad you asked. In fact, I have a LIST for why I’m running around my house with virtually no hair, a few new zits, and clad in clothes I wore ALL WEEKEND LONG:
#1 I have not packed.
#2 I have not finished my laundry of things that I *think* I may or may not pack.
#3 I did not have time to get a manicure, pedicure, brow wax, lip wax, any other kind of wax, or haircut. I will be that hairy bushwoman standing in the corner with granny shoes because my feet will be the fugliest ones in Orlando.
#4 I have not finished polishing Life After Send.
#5 I just now got around to viewing and printing out the workshop schedule. My mind is spinning because I have about 5 too many time conflicts which means I will need to make a game-time decision and have I ever mentioned to you that I’m NOT GOOD at making game-time decisions? No? Gah! I hate prioritizing when they’re all priorities!
#6 I am not a morning person. There are several workshops and meetings that require me to wake up before my leisurely time of 7:45am. My sleep cycle is already screwed by this because for the past three nights, I’ve laid awake stressing out about how I won’t be able to wake up on time. Do you see my dilemma here, peeps?
#7 WHAT SHOES AM I GOING TO BRING????
#8 I have only practiced my Just-In-Case-An-Agent-Wants-Me-To-Pitch-Her-In-The-Bathroom-While-She’s-Asking-Me-For-Toilet-Paper pitch 372 times. I need to practice at least 12,841 times for it to not sound like I’m a royal tool with a bucket of marshmallows in my mouth.
#9 DID I MENTION I HAVEN’T PACKED YET?!?!
#10 I will miss Toddler Trouble. And BicycleDude. A lot.
But despite all my whining displayed in all its gloriousness, there are still a few super stellar, awesome, full-of-fantastic reasons why all this belly-aching stress will be worth it:
I will get to hang with cool peeps. I will get to learn until my poor little brain begs me to stop soaking it all in. I will get to see Authors of Awesome in person and hopefully meet them and get their Books of Awesome signed too. I will be in Orlando (I hear it’s the Happiest Place on Earth). I will get to pretend I’m singing karaoke. I will get to meet new cool peeps, like TWITSOM, who is already full of Awesome that I’m sure the two of us in the same room together will surely make it explode. I will be present in the face of inspiration (times, like, a few thousand) as the Swan & Dolphin Resort is infiltrated by mad talent.
I’ve mentioned before how much I Love Love LOVE my YAFF (Young Adult Fiction Fanatics) crit group. They’ve saved me from jumping off many a cliffs. So I’m excited to say we have a really exciting collaborative blog series on its way!
I’m going to be a bit hush-hush for now, but stay tuned for our new series starting next Wednesday!!!
So I’ve been in the black hole of writing, otherwise known as the SEVEN CIRCLES (or DRAFTS) OF REVISION HE**, and I thought I’d take a quick break to spread the love about an awesome event that was just announced:
Several writers (Jamie Harrington, Elana Johnson, Casey McCormick, Shannon Messenger, Lisa and Laura Roecker) are organizing a free online workshop for writers of kidlit on Aug 10-12. They’re having fabulous people participate — like Steven Malk, Catherine Drayton, Michelle Andelman, Suzie Townsend, Mark McVeigh, Joanna Stampfel-Volpe, Kathleen Ortiz, Lindsay Eland, Dan Ehrehaft, Mandy Hubbard, Lindsey Leavitt, Josh Berk, Anica Rissi, and Jodi Meadows just to name a few — and the best part?
IT’S FREEEEEEEEEEE. That’s right. F to the R to the EEEEEE. Conferences are expensive, usually between $300-500 just to attend. On top of that, you’re looking at hotel, travel, and daily food costs which can easily bring the total price tag to well over $1000 (I’m looking at around $1300 to go to RWA’s conference in Orlando at the end of July). And I don’t know about you, but money certainly isn’t growing on any shrubbery near my house…
So that makes WriteOnCon a fantastic opportunity to learn, network, and have a good time with other writers. Since it’s all done online, you could even *attend* in your undies. Although I really suggest you not blab that around if that’s how you decide to roll…
Some of the ladies are running contests on their blogs to spread the word. Check them out here:
Jamie Harrington — giving away Josh Berk’s The Dark Days of Hamburger Halpin
Elana Johnson — giving away The Dark Days of Hamburger Halpin by Josh Berk, Scones and Sensibility by Lindsay Eland, Princess for Hire by Lindsey Leavitt
Casey McCormick — giving away winner’s choice of a kidlit book
This conference sounds super exciting, and with the amount of work these ladies have invested, I’m sure it’ll be a huge success! I know I’ve already blocked out my calendar for it! Oh — and don’t forget to visit the writer’s blogs and spread the WriteOnCon love!!!
I have to admit I’m not a good short story writer. I think this is because I’m naturally long-winded. I mean, have you seen my previous posts? I’m not ashamed to admit I’m a talker. But where short stories are involved, I wish I could tell a complete story in so few words.
Like these ladies: Merry Sisters of Fate–comprised of Maggie Stiefvater, Brenna Yovanoff, and Tessa Gratton. Even though these authors are published and soon-to-be-published, they still find the time (and inspiration) to post weekly short stories. That ROCK.
Here are a few examples of my favorite MSoF short stories:
Rain Maker by Maggie Stiefvater — Dystopian goodness!
All Fall Down by Brenna Yovanoff — If you like zombies, this one’s for you!
The MSoF are running a contest right now to celebrate their upcoming New Orleans trip where they’ll run into other authors (like Jackson Pearce and Carrie Ryan). You should check out their contest. And I have no doubt shenanigans and other mayhem will transpire, but will New Orleans be able to hold all that awesome writer mojo in one single weekend?
Over on Sarah Wylie’s blog, she’s running a contest to celebrate the sale of her YA debut, ALL THESE LIVES to FSG in 2012. She’s giving away a lot of REALLY COOL AND AMAZINGLY AWESOME prizes. Like a 30-page MS critique by her agent, Suzie Townsend. Or a query letter critique by Agent Phenoms Colleen Lindsay, Kathleen Ortiz, and Joanna Stampfel-Volpe. Oh yeah. And a lunch with THE JANET REID and SUZIE TOWNSEND in NYC (sadly the travel expenses are not included). But this contest is made of so much WIN, that I had to share and say a big fat CONGRATS to Sarah and her sale!
Wanted to share this with you guys since it’s an awesome opportunity for feedback for whoever wins–
Dear-Editor.com is celebrating its one-month anniversary by giving away a free edit of one YA or MG manuscript (not line-by-line edits but more general feedback about pacing, organization, voice, plot development, POV, etc.).
The site is a Dear Abby-like blog run by a former children’s publishing editor (10 years at Harcourt Children’s Books) and YA author, Deborah Halverson.
It’s a lottery-style giveaway and you can get additional entries by spreading the word or signing up for the newsletter (the rules are emailed to you when you comment on the blog).
This is monumental, you guys. I anticipate typing T-H-E E-N-D today. Like, for reals. I’m at 78K and will most likely be a tad over 80K after I get my writing in for the day. And that means next week, I’ll dive into revisions. Let me rephrase. I’m going to start REVISIONS. I’m so freaking excited I can’t stand myself right now.
This is me excited: @#*&*?$%^$!=?*&#.
Why am I so excited to start revising? Because this will be a first for me. I’ve never (and I’m totally embarrassed to admit this) EVER done a second draft before. I’m a chronic first-draft heart-breaker.
Here’s how my story relationships usually go down:
Day One:
Me: I <333333 YOU SHINY NEW IDEA!!!!! I CAN’T WAIT TO WRITE YOU!!! Wanna go steady? Like, right now? You + Me = 4EVAH.
Shiny New Idea: Duh, silly! I <3 you too! I’ve been trying to get your attention, for like, WEEKS! Took you long enough to notice my shinyness.
Week Two:
Me: I don’t understand what happened between us. The spark…I mean, things were going so fast. So deliciously fast. And now…well, you’re just so weird sometimes. I don’t get you anymore. You’ve changed, Shiny New Idea.
Shiny New Idea: What do you mean??? This has always been me. Maybe YOU’VE changed. Have you thought about that?
One Month Later:
Me: Um…so I’ve been meaning to talk to you…this “thing” between us? Yeah, I’m not so sure it’s working out. The chemistry…I don’t think it’s there anymore.
Not So Shiny New Idea: But…but…you’re right. It WAS me. I changed. A little. But I didn’t think you’d notice. I’ll go back to how it was. I’ll be shiny again. PROMISE. Just…just…give me another chance. PLEEEEEASE.
Me: I’ll think about it.
One Month + One Day Later:
Me: Okay…one more week. ONE.
Not So Shiny New Idea: You won’t regret this. Pinky swear.
One Month + One Week Later:
Me: Sooooooo. It’s been a week. And…it just wasn’t as good for me as I thought it would be. You’ll always have a place in my heart, Not So Shiny New Idea. But I really think we should take a break. Like, the permanent kind. I might even *gasp* move you into my No-Go First Draft folder.
Not So Shiny New Idea: Wh-wh-what???????????? I’ll change again. I just need a little more time. Just give me—
Me: Sorry, Not So Shiny New Idea. But there’s someone else.
So you see, my first draft relationships have been kind of flat. But not so with NOT THAT GIRL LIFE AFTER SEND (oops, I keep forgetting I had to change the title because of a title snafu that made me think I might as well nip that in the butt from the get-go, know what I mean?). Because LIFE AFTER SEND is my loverly. I <3 it. A lot. And my fellow YAFFers seem to like it, too. I’m working with my mentor on the synopsis right now. I do not like the synopsis. I now realize why everyone calls it sucknopsis. Because it does. Suck.
I’ll post tomorrow…hopefully with the news that I finished LIFE AFTER SEND.
Cambria Dillon - YA Writer
